Going After Happiness

I don't quite recall how it started.

A few months back, in the midst of desperately trying to understand the joys of engaging in a credit default swap, I came across a random thought. Thoughts that are not processed are those that can't be harnessed. Grammatical errors or not, they need to be typed as soon as they arrive. Otherwise, your hands will find their own way to the keyboard and compose the thought from scratch with scattered words.

I think I posted on Facebook. I asked if I deserve to be happy. And to my surprise, a number of people replied with the affirmative. I wouldn't have gone after what I think would make me happy if no one replied. But they did. So I dared.

A few months later, here I am, writing furiously and trying to balance everything. Everything is so fast-paced. I chose to work where I work now because frankly, I love traveling. For me, it's the best time of the day to spin thoughts that are truly noteworthy. But I've been so exhausted lately I end up sleeping the entire way to work. Which is approximately an hour and thirty minutes away.

There must be a different way to waste time. Surely, I can waste my life more productively. Be in the moment, revel in the emotions, savor the experiences, tears and laughter alike. Make dividends for my baby and still have nothing taken away from me. Be more of an inspiring woman than a decrepit shell of an old soul born at the wrong place in the wrong generation.

I'm pursuing my personal legend. I'm writing again. I'm laughing and smiling again, doing positive things so that the energy multiplied is positive. And for the first time in the long run, I feel I'm doing something right again.

To God be the Glory.